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I can't deal with your ring tones

Published: 03/24/2009

This really doesn't have to do much with IT, but I need to get this off my chest.

I don't like ring tones. I don't want to know what your corny music preferences are. I don't want to hear what you think are great movie quotes or passages of wisdom. I don't want to hear the cheesy jingles that make you giggle when you hear it go off but everyone else around you throws annoyed and distracted looks towards your direction. If the phone goes off, I don't want you to take your sweet time in answering it. Also, please turn the ringer volume down so none of us hear it. I'd appreciate you putting the phone on vibrate. Don't leave it at your desk when you're at a meeting. Take it with you.

I really don't care if you have the latest-and-greatest Top 100 Ring Tone Hits Collection because I find more comfort in something that sounds like a phone, not an endorsement of some commercial piece of music. Don't change your ring tone selection to be an electronic cover version of some song from the 80s. Really, it's the 80s, it's almost three decades old, and you need to stop living in the past.

Don't show off your phone because it plays music. I don't care. These phones are cheap, plastic, consumer commodities which provide incredibly terrible voice quality, interface design (except the iPhone), and generally short lifespan.

I've had the same phone for the last three or four years. It unfortunately has two or three acceptable rings which are not musical rip-offs that sound composed from an old Casio keyboard. I don't feel like trading up because many new phones are filled to the rim with dumb ring selections.

I wish some malicious code would propagate throughout the entire phone network and delete every music ring tone from the planet.

The best ring tone is a silent one.

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